If life and your existence for you is a kind of battle instead of a playful joyful dance, it means you have not yet learned to love your self and that you are still afraid to embrace your whole being. There is still the fear in you of being and expressing your self in love.
And if you believe you have found love in your self and wish to dance with it and yet experience the need to fight in any way to live according to your true being, it is because your trust in the love you have begun to experience in your self is not yet deep/real enough to you.